Home visitors: Support children by supporting their parents | Brookes Publishing Co.

Filling up the family’s emotional tank

AT THE BEGINNING OF THE VISIT

Geneel begins the session by saying, “Emma, I was thinking about you this week. I remembered how excited you were last time with Evelyn’s progress and her interest in looking at pictures, pretending to eat the food in the pictures. You were going to practice ‘reading’ to her again this week. Tell me how it went.”

DURING THE VISIT

Bryan works with William on interacting more with his baby. During a diaper change, William begins to play a game with Evan to keep him distracted. He flips him over from side to side in between caring for Evan. Evan squeals in delight. Bryan notes afterward, “Evan really likes to play with you and you found a way to help him learn how to roll over at the same time you did a diaper change. That makes changing a diaper a pretty fun activity. Great idea!”

SUMMARIZING THE VISIT

At the end of the home visit, Susan summarizes what was discussed with Carol by saying, “You asked about finding a different place to live today. We talked about the different options and you decided to talk with your current landlord about changing apartments. We practiced what you might say, and you sounded pretty confident about how to ask for what you need. You really know what’s best for your family and how to get that in a respectful way.”

IN BETWEEN VISITS

Rebecca runs into Samantha who has a WIC appointment in the same building as the home visiting office. Samantha tells Rebecca she realized she could check board books out from the library after Anthony had enjoyed them so much during their last visit. She shows Rebecca the books they’d just checked out, and Rebecca responds, “What a great idea you had to get more books from the library so you and Anthony can read together!”

What actions help parents feel supported?

To understand what actions build good relationships with parents, it is helpful to think about the parent behaviors that help a baby feel safe and supported:

• showing interest and attention
• accurately reading signals about needs
• responding to needs in a timely and sensitive way

Then, consider how these kinds of behaviors can be applied to provider–parent relationships. Paralleling the parents’ actions toward babies, home visitors build relationships with parents when they

• demonstrate an active interest in the parent and the parent’s needs
• accurately understand what parents are saying and showing with regards to their needs
• make efforts to respond in consistent and reliable ways to meet those needs

Here’s an example:

Lulu is upset because her toddler is active and aggressive in public situations. Lulu tells the home visitor Sandra, “I’m embarrassed all the time. She just runs and grab things when we go to the store. I really don’t know what to do.” Sandra says with sympathy, “Wow, that’s tough! I’m sorry that things are so hard for you.” Lulu visibly relaxes after the expression of concern. When Isobel comes close, Lulu reaches out to her daughter and rubs her back. She says, “I know it’s hard for her when I’m yelling all the time.” Once Lulu’s own feelings are acknowledged, she is able to think about how the situation is for her daughter.